Nigerian-American professor speaks on loving her ex husband, loving women more, and why her marriage collapsed

Nigerian-American professor, Dr Uju Anya, has opened up about her past marriage, her sexuality, and the personal experiences that shaped her life, insisting that her marriage to her ex-husband was real, intentional, and rooted in genuine love.According to her interview on ‘With Chude’, she grew up witnessing a deeply troubled marriage. Her father was a womaniser, physically abusive, emotionally neglectful, and publicly humiliating to her mother. When she was just 10 years old, her mother left the marriage, leaving her feeling love-starved and emotionally wounded for years.She said those early experiences influenced her worldview. After moving to the United States, she embraced feminism and eventually became an atheist, a position she says she has held for decades.Despite being bisexual, Uju said she still fell deeply in love with a man and married him. She stressed that it was not a fake marriage or a cover.  According to her, she was genuinely excited, emotionally invested, and physically attracted to him.When I met my ex-husband, I liked him. He was hot, he could dance, he was funny. I felt sexual attraction, and I held on to him tightly because this felt like my passport to a normal life, she said.She explained that the marriage was sexually fulfilling and emotionally real, but over time, she realised her attraction to women was stronger.  About 10 years into the marriage, she told her husband she needed to be with women as well.According to her, they agreed to open the marriage. While both of them dated other people, she said the arrangement only sustained the marriage for a few more years.That held me maybe another four years, she said.She revealed that the turning point came when she attended a Nigerian lesbian wedding in New York. At that moment, she said, everything became clear.My marriage was over at that point. I knew this was my future. I needed to go, she said.Uju also addressed the criticism she constantly receives, especially being labelled a man-hater. She dismissed the tag, saying she has experienced real attraction to men but has always loved women more.She went on to mention the backlash she faced in recent years, including death threats, after publicly criticising the late Queen Elizabeth and referencing the suffering of Biafrans. According to her, the backlash was so intense that she had to involve both the police and the FBI, and it took a serious toll on her mental health.In 2024, she married her long-term partner, Dr Syria Lang. She described her as her dream woman and said their union went beyond marriage, as they also blended their families.The post Nigerian-American professor speaks on loving her ex husband, loving women more, and why her marriage collapsed appeared first on Linda Ikeji Blog.